As I work deeper and deeper into my own practice of connecting with my body and my mind, my ever present always working inquisitive nature has been chewing on some things.

Lately, as I roll through expansion and growth in my personal life, my work with clients has deepened and has allowed me to connect even more dots and gain insight. If you resonate with what I am about to share with you, awesome, maybe you already feel this on one level, and this will help you connect your dots even further.


It’s happening on so many levels at this present time from the birth of new babies and new relationships to the loss of loved ones, music icons and old habits…

In my experience working with clients and continually working on myself recently, I’ve noticed this tendency of resistance popping up in my life where I thought I was actually open to the change. I thought I was “ done with that shit” I thought I had “ let that shit go”, but I was wrong. Yep. Let me explain…

For example, if you have wanted a relationship in your life for so long that once it’s finally there, 100% in your life, we often don’t want to make space for that love. We resist our old routines, justifying it in one way or another, resulting in pushing that love further away. It simply boils down to this…. what we really want and desire the most in our lives, the change we have been needing and wanting to be present in our lives, once it starts to take root and we actually feel the shift,  we resist this change.

The change in routine, the change in eating habits, the change in relationships, etc. And that got me thinking about how it shows up in our physical body. For me, more often than not, I start to recognize this as physical pain…. And it wasn’t until I sat and questioned if there might be a connection that I realized, holy shit.

When we are unaware of our own resistance, the only other way that we are going to recognize it is via physical pain.

This is why I love meditation so much because, well you get to hang out with your soul, ask what am I resisting on the way to what I really desire, you’ll hear the answer before it reaches physical pain…. Maybe. If you are willing to listen. So check this out, your mind, when it doesn’t feel heard steps it up a notch and creates stress… stress creates fatigue….

When we resist, contract, whatever you want to call it, it stresses the mind, therefore leading to stress on the body. When there is chronic stress on the body, the immune system becomes weakened. On an energetic level, the energy centers in the body, also known as chakras, become imbalanced.

This resistance also has to do with healing old emotional stress that is STILL in your muscles, your mind, your life. This is what is often referred to as muscle memory. Now, I could go into soooo many things when I open this can of muscle memory, but for the sake of your time and this topic, I will only geek out on one part of how your muscles hold onto emotional stress for dear life if we let ourselves.

I am a pretty open book, as most of you know, but I am about to open up a little bit more….I like sharing stories, experiences because well, I feel like they are just data with so much soul. So, in the past few months, I have been opening up to healing some physical ailments that I have had lingering for a number of years, some are old dance injuries, anxiety stress, old patterns of protecting my heart and I felt this huge pull to start opening that can of worms back in December.

I’ve experienced so much joy, SO much physical pain, fatigue, headaches, nausea in the last 2 months it’s been unreal. I knew once this started, I would feel that this shit coming up needed to be acknowledged, healed and released…. But how the F was that going to happen. I knew it was in my muscles, I knew it was old energy, but I just didn’t know if I was strong enough to feel it again (see that, limited belief holding me back from what I reallllly need, resistance).

Once I made the choice to feel these old pains, 100%, they would show up like fucking lightening, hit me hard and then leave, just like that. When I say it felt so defeating, I am not joking. The only difference, I KNEW that this was leaving me. I knew this old crap was coming up so it could be released. THIS is muscle memory.

When we shove shit under the rug, when we hold in our feelings, it doesn’t magically go away, we don’t magically let go of it. It takes awareness and the desire to move on from the crap that’s holding you back. You muscles store your energy, they store nutrients, they store emotions. Negative emotions that have not been felt, but shoved away present themselves the SAME WAY as food sensitivities.

It’s SO much more than food.

Your physical body needs so much more than food.

Your body WANTS you to feel. It wants to connect with you. It wants to be your friend. It wants you to open up, to release, the trick is finding support and someone who can help you navigate and peel back the layers, be a sounding board and tell you that you aren’t crazy when you start to go down that road because, let’s face it, it will happen.

I see this happen A LOT with weight loss, autoimmune disease… those both are multi-layered, releasing takes patients, love and compassion for yourself. It wants acknowledgment, it wants to be felt, so it can leave you with space to feel more. If we are only focused on releasing what’s happening physically, those old feelings, patterns store away are going to show up and possible wreck all the work that you have done to release the extra weight.

Change is hard. It’s exhilarating. It’s fun. It’s weird. It’s always happening. Once we take a good look at ourselves with our love goggles on, it’s easier to see the work that needs to be done to release alllllll that extra crap that is taking up space in your body, in your mind, in your heart, in your muscles. You may be feeling this more than ever right now because we are in mercury retrograde. A lot of people get all weird and roll their eyes when retrogrades happen, especially mercury. Mercury rules communication. All communication. Your physical body falls under that category because your physical body communicates with your soul and mind….

In retrogrades, the communication can get a little wonky and weird, but during these retrogrades call us to slow down, to take a closer look at what’s not serving us, or how we can better communicate – it also shows us the black holes in our communications with others. It’s nothing to be afraid of, I actually like them. I know, I’m weird. For 3 more weeks, we will be feeling this. SO, what can you do to start to release and allow yourself to flow with change?

1. SLOW down. Take a breath. Pause. And sit. And breathe. For 5 minutes every day. Let yourself BE and process what is happening in your life.

2. Lean in to your physical pains. Get curious. Ask yourself what is it that is coming up and give yourself permission to feel it.

3. SAGE. Invest in a sage stick. Sage clears energy, it clears the air, the space, stagnant build up of yuck!  Our energy field  includes our  emotional, energetic, mental, spiritual or physical body, and our environment—whether it’s our home, office, or other physical space. Stagnant or negative energy can have extremely detrimental effects on our mental and physical state and is even believed to manifest into things like a lack of happiness and success as well as pain and disease.

TRUST me, this may sound all woo woo, but as a body worker and living though this- it’s a real thing. I dare you to believe it. Smudging can help combat this negativity, clear the energy in your field, and help you start anew. Smudging is an ancient ceremony in which you burn sacred plants, such as sage, to allow the smoke to clear and bless a space. I cleanse my space once a week, and clearly, I do it more if I can feel negative nancies hanging out! (You can even pick one up at Sprouts or Whole Foods!)

4. Awareness. Being mindful of how we are in certain domains of our lives or just simply noticing when we lose our shit or become triggered can give us HUGE insight on where we need to start this process to release.

5. Notice what triggers you to lose your shit. Pop your top, go into auto pilot of dropping F bombs about people. Notice. Laugh. Re-direct. Re-direct with, okay, I see this pattern, let me breathe the next time someone pisses me off because, well it’s actually something old that is hanging out that needs to be released (that’s why the anger, frustration etc keeping showing up). It wants you to pay attention.

If you are confused, have questions or are ready to start this journey of creating more space in your body, mind and heart for the things and experiences you truly desire, let’s chat! Hit reply to this email and let’s set up a time to chat about how I can support you through this amazing, and sometimes frustrating journey towards reconnecting with yourself and allowing space for so much goodness…


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